


it's not porn its art

by phoenixsigns



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Alfonso writes smutty self-insert fic, Alternate Universe - Royalty, And Jesper reads it, Based off an idea that spiraled out of control, Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 17:05:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14549325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixsigns/pseuds/phoenixsigns
Summary: When King Svenningsen hires a writer to improve Jesper's taste in literature, he has no idea what he's getting his son into.





	it's not porn its art

**Author's Note:**

> Much thanks to [Kandiszucker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatwhy) for coming up with this idea (by which I mean a much better and more coherent version of this idea) in the first place.

When Alfonso hands him his first completed work, Jesper’s eyes nearly bug out of his head.

“W-what is-?” He demands, nearly dropping the pages from shock. “This is...This is...smut!”

“Perhaps you could call it that,” Alfonso says diplomatically, standing patiently in front of his patron. Despite what he’d just handed Jesper, he looks calm and unruffled, like he’d given Jesper a recipe book instead of a pornographic novel. “I believe the proper term is ‘erotica’ in literary circles. Depicting scenes of a sexual nature in art can be very thematically relevant and have deep artistic meaning, which as you can see if you read further, is what I have endeavoured to do in my work.”

“I suppose so…” Jesper says helplessly. To be honest, he doesn’t know the first thing about art or artistic meaning, despite the fact that he recently hired a live-in poet and writer. The writings he usually consumes tend to have titles like  _ The Blackfire Murders _ and  _ Death to Dusk _ and contain hundreds of pages of excitement and danger. But his father had insisted that Jesper expand his literary horizons, mostly so the crown prince of Viborg wouldn’t be caught reading cheap thriller novels in public again, and what the king wanted, he got.

Hence Alfonso. And also hence his porn….er, his erotica.

“I’ll keep an open mind, I guess,” Jesper says eventually. “But if this is something scandalous...I’ll have you put in the stocks for a day. Maybe even two days!”

“As you say, my lord.” Alfonso’s bland smile doesn’t budge from his face. Jesper feels himself getting redder just looking at him. Alfonso knows that Jesper has no real power over him, since the king was the one who had employed him for his services and was deeply intent on Alfonso “sophisticating” his son.

Jesper snatches the messy pile of papers up from his desk and tries to put them in some sort of order.

“Alright, you can go now,” Jesper says dismissively. “I’ll call for you if I need you.”

“Yes, my lord.” Alfonso retreats quietly.

Once Jesper is sure he’s gone, he takes another peek at the (dirty, filthy) story in his hands. He just wants to make sure all the pages are in order, he tells himself, but quickly gets sucked into the story.

_Alejandro presses a soft kiss to Prince Johan’s outstretched hand._ _“It’s a pleasure to meet you, your majesty. I am certain our partnership will be very fruitful.”_

_ Johan takes his hand away, blushing slightly. Alejandro’s lips were soft and warm, and he can still feel their touch against his skin. _

_ “A pleasure to meet you as well, Lord Alejandro,” is all he can think to say in return. Alejandro gives him a soft smile, one that promises many secrets behind his veneer of poise and nobility and makes Johan squirm in his seat. _

Hours pass, and Jesper doesn’t stop reading. Just one more page _ , _ he tells himself over and over, but he always flips to the next page after he reaches the end of one page. Even the more...explicit material manages to keep his interest, though it makes a dark blush appear on his face.

_ Alejandro presses a harsh kiss against Johan’s lips, probing his tongue deep into the prince’s eager mouth.  _

_ “You shouldn’t have teased me so much during the gala,” he growls as he pulls away from Johan’s mouth, nipping at his ear before latching onto the prince’s pale neck and sucking. Johan squeaks in protest at the rough treatment, but deep down he loves it, and Alejandro knows it. _

Jesper shifts in his chair and coughs, trying to hide the gradual tightening of his pants as Alejandro and Johan become progressively less clothed. He hopes dearly that no one will walk in on him like this. 

_ “Do you want me to fuck you?” Alejandro asks in a husky voice. “Right here, right now? Where anyone could come in and see us?” _

_ “Yes, yes…” Johan moans. “Fuck me, please…” _

Jesper gives up on any pretense and reaches down to palm at his erection. The clothed pressure against his cock makes him gasp, and he quickly looks around to make sure no one heard him. Luckily, no one is around, but he pulls his hand away anyway.

He reads on with both hands above his desk.

_ Alejandro bends Johan over the throne, playing with his pink hole idly.  _

_ "Are you ready for me, your highness?" He asks teasingly. Johan lets out an impatient moan. _

_ "Hurry up and pleasure me...Alejandro..." He begs hoarsely. "That is an order from your prince." _

_ "Of course, my lord," Alfonso removes a small bottle from his sleeve and pours some of the liquid inside into his palm. He- _

Wait, Alfonso? Jesper rereads the passage. But it still says Alfonso instead of Alejandro. Could Alfonso have made a mistake when writing his story? Perhaps Jesper should ask him about it.

Jesper squeezes his eyes shut and slips a hand into his trousers, where he's already achingly hard. He pictures Alfonso bending Johan-no, Jesper, over his throne, and his cock throbs. 

Maybe he'll ask later.

The next day, Jesper can’t look Alfonso in the eyes, terrified that Alfonso will know he enjoyed his story for reasons far, far removed from artistic merit.

“So, am I going to be locked up?” Alfonso asks him during breakfast, almost causing Jesper to jump out of his chair.

“W-what?” He stutters, dropping the grapefruit he’d been trying to cut in half onto the table. A particular scene involving locks, ropes, and chains that Jesper had meticulously recreated in his own mind last night flashes in his mind. “The hell are you talking about?”

“In the stocks. You said I’d get locked in there for a day or two if my work was too ‘scandalous.’”

“I...I haven’t read it yet,” Jesper lies, still a bit shaken. “I had much better things to do than read some story.”

“I see. Well, when you do, make sure to let me know how you think of it.” Alfonso goes back to buttering his toast, calm as ever. Jesper picks up his mangled grapefruit and looks at it mournfully. What had his father gotten him into?

That afternoon, the king calls for Jesper.

“I heard you haven’t been reading the works Alfonso has written for you.”

“It’s just one story so far,” Jesper says sulkily, looking down. He hates it when his father gets overly invested in his life. “And it’s got…” he blushes at the memory of Alejandro and Johan’s various goings on. “It’s got...strange stuff in it. I don’t know if I should be reading it.”

“That was the point, Jesper. Alfonso is here to expand your horizons, not keep churning out that dreck you insist on reading. You’ll thank me later.”

Jesper sighs. “Yes, father.”

As Jesper trudges out of his father’s study, he bumps into Alfonso.

“Good afternoon, my lord.” Alfonso bows solemnly. Jesper struggles to look anywhere but directly at him.

“Hi,” he mumbles, trying and failing to not blush. Alfonso tilts his head and gazes at him curiously.

“Are you alright, sir?” He asks, concern in his voice, and reaches out as if to touch Jesper. Jesper jerks back before he can make contact.

“I’m fine, fine,” he says hurriedly, rushing off before Alfonso can ask any more questions. He’s probably coming off as some sort of nut, but he doesn’t care right now. He needs to get away before Alfonso somehow figures out what’s going on.

Jesper runs to his room and picks up the sheath of papers that has so quickly turned his life upside down. 

“This is all your fault,’ he mutters, and starts to reread it from the beginning.


End file.
